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Squishable Sushi Roll – Your Adorable Plush Kawaii Shrimp

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Is that a giant shrimp you’re carrying around? I swear you get weirder by the day. It’s a Squishable sushi roll shrimp plush that you’re going to nap with? Well, at least it’s not a real shrimp. I’d be kicking you out of here if you left random shellfish on the couch!

$28.99 Buy Now

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BB-8 Costume – Roll Through the Galaxy this Halloween

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There’s a lot of beeping and bopping going on in the living room. I wonder if we’ve got a rogue robot again. Nope, you’re just getting into your Star Wars inflatable BB-8 costume I see.

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Dragon Throne Chair – A Medieval Seat for Kings or Queens

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These new dining chairs you got are really something. I feel like I’ve stepped back into medieval times. Are you sure you didn’t pick them up at the Renaissance fair? I mean, where else would you find a dragon throne chair?

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5 in 1 Storkcraft Convertible Crib Playhouse Grows w/ Child

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What did you do with your old crib when the kids outgrew it? I don’t have space to store it and just don’t have use for it anymore. You didn’t have to worry about that with your Storkcraft convertible crib playhouse because they’re still using it?

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Auto-Tune Karaoke Machine – Sing Better than Ever Before!

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I’ve had it with your complaints about my singing. Just because I’m a little off key doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have a good time too! Thankfully for you, this auto-tune karaoke machine is about to make me sound ten times better!

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6′ Halloween Totem Inflatable – Stacked Pumpkin Bat Cat Ghost

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Oh no, the neighbors started putting up Halloween decorations already. We’re so far behind! We’re going to have to put up something impressive to compete with the Wilsons this year. Pete, go in the garage and bring out our 6' tall Halloween totem inflatable decoration for the yard! An inflatable pumpkin, bat, cat, ...

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Inflatable Alien Abduction Costume – A Halloween Kidnapping

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Help, I’m being abducted by aliens! Just kidding, I’m just wearing my inflatable alien abduction costume. It’s so awesome, one could say this Halloween kidnapping is out of this world!

$32.98 Buy Now

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Dog Umbrella with Leash – Protection when Walking in the Rain

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I know you don’t want to go outside for a walk in the rain, Sparky. Thankfully this time, I’ve got a dog umbrella just for you, to keep you dry! I bet you didn’t know there is an umbrella for dogs!

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Floating Duck Bluetooth Speaker with 7 LED Color Lights

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Oh, a waterlogged cell phone; well, that’s unfortunate. How many times have I told you not to bring your phone out by the pool? I know you wanted to listen to music while you swam, but next time use the Bluetooth floating duck speaker in the pool. The glowing duck is both adorable and waterproof!

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Football Decanter – Show Off Your Winning Whiskey Arm

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Hey, pass me that decanter, would you? I need a refill. What, do you think you’re Joe Montana or something? It’s a football decanter, not an actual ball to throw. I’m not going to be pleased if I’m covered in whiskey due to your shenanigans!

$96.99 Buy Now

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RC Battling Tanks with Real Moving Infrared Turrets and Sounds

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Don’t come in here, Sharon; this is a war zone! I’m about to finally get the drop on the enemy, and you’re not going to mess this up. No, I’m not letting the kids play with a real tank. These are RC battling tanks, and they’re perfectly safe. Oh, watch out for that mortar!

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Auto Darkening Sunglasses – AshChromics Light Transitions

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Sometimes, I miss wearing glasses. Those transition lenses were the coolest things, and now that I have contacts I’m missing out. I guess it’s time to invest in some AshChromics auto darkening electrochromic sunglasses instead.

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Automatic Pot Stirrer for Cooking without the Time Commitment

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I feel like I need to grow two more hands to be efficient in the kitchen. I don’t know how these chefs manage to create such perfectly timed multiple courses. Maybe an automatic pot stirrer for cooking will help, at least when it comes to soups and sauces.

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Giant Rainbow Piano Mat – 8.5′ Toe Tap Musical Toy

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What’s all the commotion in here? I see you kids think you’re mini Mozarts now, running on your giant rainbow piano mat. Just don’t run into the china cabinet; I’m not explaining that one to your mother.

$99.95 Buy Now

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Dining Top Pool Table – Ultimate Dinner to Billiards Conversion

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Well, that was a delicious dinner. Now, who’s up for a game of pool? We don’t even have to go anywhere. I’ll just remove the cover because this is a dining top pool table that converts in seconds. I love space saving furniture!

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Gold Rush Nugget Bucket – Hit Shark Tank Gold Prospecting Kit

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Why are you kids soaking wet? You were out digging in a stream for gold? I don’t think you’re going to find it that way. We should try out the Shark Tank gold rush nugget bucket if you want to be prospectors!

$154.99 Buy Now

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Back to the Future Calligram – FULL Movie Script in a Picture!

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You want to go drive to a store to pick out artwork? Honey, where we’re going, we don’t need roads. I got this Back to the Future calligram artwork for us instead. Now I can relax and generate some fuel for Mr. Fusion.

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Cute Baby Groot Planter Pots – Guardians of the Succulents

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I am Groot? I am Groot!  Well, that’s great and all, but could you hold these plants, please? After all, that’s why we have these baby Groot planter pots for succulents.

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