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Uranus Soap – It’s a Novelty Planetary Cleaning!

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You’re so dirty it looks like you’ve spent a month in space. Go and clean yourself up with some Uranus soap before the company arrives. I don’t care if you found gold on an asteroid; you still need to be clean!

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Portable Bubble Massage Mat – Turn Your Tub into a Jacuzzi

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All I want is a jacuzzi in the bathroom, but I never realized how expensive remodeling was. Maybe I can just retrofit my existing tub with a portable bubble massage mat instead. That should make my bathtub just like a spa jacuzzi!

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Countertop Towel Warmer – A Space Saving Luxury Device!

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I’ve always wanted to have warm, cozy towels like they do in the spa. I just don’t have room for one of those big warming units in my apartment. I’m so glad I found the countertop towel warmer because it fits perfectly. Heated towels, here I come!

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Boon Glo Nightlight with Portable Balls – Safe for Kids

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Pretty sure I just saw a ghost. I was walking down the hall, and there was this glowing light just hovering there. You think it was just one of the kids carrying their Boon Glo nightlight with portable balls? Well, I guess that’s more reasonable than a ghost.

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X Rocker Cosmos Gaming Bed – RGB Lights Esports Twin Bed

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Some days, I just want to relax, lay in bed, and play games. It’s the ultimate in comfort and fun! That’s why the X Rocker Cosmos gaming bed is perfect for me. Now, I can game in style from the comfort of my bedroom just like I'm playing Esports!

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Squishable Sushi Roll – Your Adorable Plush Kawaii Shrimp

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Is that a giant shrimp you’re carrying around? I swear you get weirder by the day. It’s a Squishable sushi roll shrimp plush that you’re going to nap with? Well, at least it’s not a real shrimp. I’d be kicking you out of here if you left random shellfish on the couch!

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5 in 1 Storkcraft Convertible Crib Playhouse Grows w/ Child

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What did you do with your old crib when the kids outgrew it? I don’t have space to store it and just don’t have use for it anymore. You didn’t have to worry about that with your Storkcraft convertible crib playhouse because they’re still using it?

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Unicorn Inflatable Bed – Quick and Easy Fantasy Blow Up Bed

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Last night, you dreamed your bed turned into a unicorn, and you rode it through the clouds? Wow, you kids really do have active imaginations. I don’t think I’m going to find mythical beasts anytime soon, but this fantasy unicorn inflatable bed sure is a great start.

$79.95 Buy Now

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Lord of the Rings Gandalf the White Rubber Duck by Tubbz

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You shall not pass!  Seriously, man, I’m trying to take a bath in here. You don’t need to come in and disturb me. This Tubbz Gandalf rubber duck and I are leading an expedition to Mordor. You just want the Precious for yourself!

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Lavender Infused Memory Foam Pillow for Aromatherapy Sleep

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I’ve had such trouble sleeping lately. My restless mind keeps me up at night. I’m going to try this lavender infused memory foam pillow to see if the calming aromatherapy helps.

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Copper Infused Mattress Temperature Regulating Memory Foam

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We really need a new mattress. This old one is so lumpy and terrible for my back. I really want one of those memory foam mattresses, but I’ve heard how hot they can be. You think a copper infused memory foam mattress will do the trick? What does copper do in a mattress?

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Cauldron Bath Bomb – The Magic Witches Brew for Relaxation

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Bubble, bubble, boil, and trouble what? If you kids are making soup in the bathtub again, your mom is going to be so angry. I’m not explaining that mess to her again. You’re just taking a bath with a cauldron bath bomb? I always knew you were secretly little witches. I’ll probably find a toad in my coffee next.

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Bioluminescent Bath Crystals – Relaxing Jasmine Soaking Salts

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Someday, I want to explore the bioluminescent filled caverns by boat. Until I can do that, though, I’ll have to settle for pretending I’m there while in the bath. These bioluminescent bath crystals emulate the beautiful sights, while also relaxing and pampering me!

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Amolife Low Profile Platform Bed with Modern LED Headboard

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You know what I think our bedroom needs? A new bed, with flashing lights to add that unique, modern flair. Of course such a thing exists! The Amolife low profile platform bed has a modern style complete with adjustable lights.

$338.99 Buy Now

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Octopus Bed Guardrail – Safest Way to Sleep with the Fishes!

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Did you just hear a thumping sound? I guess Timmy fell out of bed again; good thing we put that thick rug down. Ever since changing to a bed instead of a crib, he’s been doing this. We should try out this octopus bed guardrail to help him stay in.

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Triple Bunk Bed with Slide is the Bed of Your Child’s Dreams!

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What’s all the commotion going on up here? Yinz are busy fighting over who gets the top bunk? I thought we bought the triple bunk bed with a slide so you two wouldn’t fight anymore? One of you gets to have the slide tonight, and one of you gets the top bunk. Don’t worry, we measured so you won’t hit your head on the ...

$256.99 $291.99 Buy Now

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ACME Cargo Wardrobe – Wile E Coyote Safe Metal Wardrobe

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Hey Sandy, did I just see a roadrunner leaving your house? Oh, that was actually your delivery guy? He dropped off your new ACME cargo wardrobe for your bedroom. I didn’t know ACME was making rectangular wardrobes now!

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Giant Bread Pillow – A Delicious Looking Baguette Body Pillow

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Are you carrying a giant loaf of bread around? What on Earth are you planning to do with it? Oh, it’s not a real loaf of bread, but a giant baguette body pillow that you have. It sounds comfortable, but now I’m disappointed we can’t eat it!

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